I saw the Breeders on Tuesday night in Buffalo and words can not describe all the feels that I had. So without further ado I’m going to try and use words to attempt to describe my indescribable experience.

SOOOOOO close to Kim and Kelley Deal

First off growing up in a very small very rural town (Williamson, NY) my exposure to live music was the piano recitals of myself and my relatives, chorus concerts, middle school musicals and pre-recorded performances shown to me through my television via MTV. This is where my exposure to alternative music began (both through MTV and my local musical performance community). Within my national rock music exposure there were few females so the ones I encountered I took note of. I loved the screaming yelling absolute shredding of bands like Babes in Toyland, Hole (yes, Hole) and L7. In fact if you really want to bathe in 90s alternative rock nostalgia go ahead and google: L7 interview bands at Lollapalooza part 2. There you will find footage from MTV’s 120 minutes with L7 and Maggie Estep interviewing different bands playing Lollapalooza in 1994. This includes an interview with Nick Cave and a Badseed where he reads from a prepared statement informing L7 that “if you brushed your hair a little more and wore something a little more feminine we’d get along a little bit better.” I was instantly a Nick Cave fan and have been ever since. In fact that moment struck me as so hilarious that I have carried the memory of that stupid interview with me since I saw it in 1994. I JUST looked it up right now for the very first time in 24 (AGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!) years.

It is in this climate that I was first exposed to the Breeders (who were also included in the 94′ Lollapalooza lineup). They rocked and tore it up but in a much more subversive way. These were not women who were rocking with a chip on their shoulder, or trying to convey a political position through their music they just rocked. No pretense, no prescribed agenda. Don’t get me wrong they had things to say (motherhood means mental freeze) but their impact was made by just being themselves and playing their music. I imagined 15 year old me hanging out next to 40 year old me so close to Kim and Kelley Deal and Josephine Wiggs. First off she would high five me on still being around. Then she would be proud of who I turned out to be. I really think we would have had a blast. As 15 year old me never got a chance to see The Breeders she would have gotten the show she wanted. Their playing was amazing their banter was great especially when they screwed up. They just were them and they were what 15 year old me always hoped they would be. It was made better by the fact that it was at a small club that was almost kind of full with a pretty open floor. Putting out 5 studio albums in over 20 years they certainly weren’t worried about staying popular or relevant or in the public eye. They just cared about making music.

Still subtle subversion with sexy man on amp

Thankfully I’ll have the chance to hang out with the closest thing to 15 year old me when my 13 year old daughter turns 15. I will make sure to continue to teach her the lessons I learned from my music listening and viewing experience as a 15 year old. I will continue to tell her that she can just be her. She can put her own things out into the world for the sake of putting her own things out into the world. If she likes it and is proud of it and did it just because she wanted to that’s enough.

Next blog I will talk about what lateral breathing is and how it supports your back, lowers blood pressure and stuff like that. I’m sure 15 year old me would think it was pretty dope.